What is love?
This is the question that has haunted my every thought for the past two months of my existence.
This is the question that has kept me awake, night, and after awful night, and tormented my soul in ways I could never have conceived possible.
A year ago, I would have defined love as a fuzzy feeling inside, something sweet and wonderful, something amazing. Now, my views have been altered against my will.
So, I have decided to warn whom ever should happen to read this, in hopes that I prevent at least one heart from receiving the same scars as mine.
What is your definition of love?
Who do you think of when the word love, is brought to mind? If you see a face, hear a voice, remember a time with a person...then I urge to stop, and never feel the way you are feeling right now again. One of the greatest hazards in life, in my opinion, is define love based on the way you feel towards one person. Because, if that is what you do, you are on a beautiful, sunny, road to a dark dismal place.
I encourage you to realize that love is defined not by chick flicks, and cheesy love songs. Not by the mass media and what they want you to believe. But is rather defined more simply, by a man on a cross. The shallow love that YOU could feel towards another human on your own is pitiful and sad. No matter how much you love someone, on your own, you will always break their heart if you do not realize that true love comes from the one who grants you every breath.
That is what I have learned...in the past few months. Its thoughts like these that consume my mind daily.
For a while I lived only in the past, looking to memories to make me cry, scream, feel anything. But I quickly realized that any love I once possessed has been destroyed because it was not returned with the same honesty with which it was given. Do I regret falling in love? No, not at all. I only regret letting a single human person be my only definition of love. It was my fault, that my heart was broken. I was too fragile, I was too scared, I was standing on the edge of a cliff, it took almost nothing to push me off.
I have learned my lesson. And never again will expect someone to love me apart from the love of Christ.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Sunday, April 11, 2010
The sky
What if one day someone came up to you and they were like, "Dude, the sky isn't blue?"
What would you say? You'd probably tell them that their crazy right? You'd bet your life that the sky was blue.
But what if you went outside and looked up and the sky was legitimately green?
Then what would you do? You'd probably be confused, you'd probably wonder what the heck happened? Why did it change?
And you'd miss it, you'd miss the way you're blue sky felt. But you couldn't get it back, the sky would be green.
You'd probably freak out, you'd wonder how in the world you were supposed to live your life under a green sky...everything would feel different for a while.
You would probably be mad at the sky...and maybe even the color green. You'd want to punch out anyone who says they like the sky green...because you loved the sky blue.
But you'd have to move on and live your life. You'd have to realize that You are who You are regardless of what color the sky is.
And you wouldn't ever forget your blue sky, part of you will always love it. And every time you looked up you'd be reminded of what the sky used to look like.
You couldn't avoid it, it's the sky. No matter how long you try to hide from it, you will eventually see it...and often.
So you'd adjust, you wouldn't love the new sky...not by a long shot. But you'd learn to live under it, to be happy, even thrive.
Part of you will always hope that the sky changes back one day...but you're not going to bank on it. If it changes back that's cool. And if it doesn't, that's okay too.
As much as you may love the blue sky...as happy as it may make you. You are okay without it.
And some people may love the green sky, that's good for them. The sky is green, it doesn't take away from the fact that it used to be blue.
Nothing could ever change that. And who knows? Maybe you'll forget about the sky altogether, maybe you'll fall in love with the ocean....
What would you say? You'd probably tell them that their crazy right? You'd bet your life that the sky was blue.
But what if you went outside and looked up and the sky was legitimately green?
Then what would you do? You'd probably be confused, you'd probably wonder what the heck happened? Why did it change?
And you'd miss it, you'd miss the way you're blue sky felt. But you couldn't get it back, the sky would be green.
You'd probably freak out, you'd wonder how in the world you were supposed to live your life under a green sky...everything would feel different for a while.
You would probably be mad at the sky...and maybe even the color green. You'd want to punch out anyone who says they like the sky green...because you loved the sky blue.
But you'd have to move on and live your life. You'd have to realize that You are who You are regardless of what color the sky is.
And you wouldn't ever forget your blue sky, part of you will always love it. And every time you looked up you'd be reminded of what the sky used to look like.
You couldn't avoid it, it's the sky. No matter how long you try to hide from it, you will eventually see it...and often.
So you'd adjust, you wouldn't love the new sky...not by a long shot. But you'd learn to live under it, to be happy, even thrive.
Part of you will always hope that the sky changes back one day...but you're not going to bank on it. If it changes back that's cool. And if it doesn't, that's okay too.
As much as you may love the blue sky...as happy as it may make you. You are okay without it.
And some people may love the green sky, that's good for them. The sky is green, it doesn't take away from the fact that it used to be blue.
Nothing could ever change that. And who knows? Maybe you'll forget about the sky altogether, maybe you'll fall in love with the ocean....
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